Actual conversation Doug overheard last evening:
The place: Urban Outfitters store*, Burbank, California
The participants: A young couple (probably in their early 20s) standing near Doug
The scene: Included on a table of t-shirts are two with pseudo-political themed images on them. One reads "Barack and Roll" with a picture of Obama's face, with another next to it featuring a big cartoonish hand brass knuckles between the text "Obama Says Knock You Out." Doug is standing a few feet away as the couple looks at the shirts.
Young man (to his female companion): "Does Obama really think this will get him votes? Yeah, that's who I want running my country."
Doug's thought: Should I explain that the shirts clearly aren't endorsed by the Obama campaign but are just some fashion designer cashing in on the candidate's pop culture cachet?
[Doug then notices that the young man is dressed such that his jeans intentionally droop in the back, even though they are pulled up to the normal height in the front, revealing his striped briefs in public. (However, the stripes do match his shirt.)]
Doug's revised thought: I could go over and ask if the young man intends to vote in November. If he says "no" then I can say, "That's good," and if he says "yes" then I can simply grimace and walk away.
[Doug concludes that would be kind of dickish. Also, likely that is too subtle for the young man to grasp, and Doug walks away.]
* Not some place I go, um, hardly ever; I'm not saying I'm ashamed to have been there, I just feel compelled to note that in the interest of full disclosure. My fiancée had a gift card. Of course, if this young man is in any way representative of their customers, perhaps I should be kind of ashamed.
Doug,
ReplyDeleteWhy be ashamed? Did your Chonies not match you shirt?
This is probably TMI, but, um, coincidentally, my boxers did happen to be the same color as my t-shirt.
ReplyDeleteI would have pulled my pants down a few inches to show that, but that's not exactly the sort of association I'm trying to establish.
"My fiancee had a gift card." lol
ReplyDeleteUh, huh...that's what they all say.
Sheesh.
By they way, it would not have been dickish in the least for you to approach with Doug's thought, yet you are probably right in that it would have been too subtle and totally lost.
jenji, not that you asked, would have pulled the passive-sarcasm...
...the "you are two of THE dumbest individuals on the planet but for the sake of this moment i'll ceremoniously bond with you and then suddenly jam your stupidity up your ass" approach.
it's a jenji classic and goes as
follows:
jenji approaches dumb and dumber:
He has to peddle his face on shirts, I mean, did you guys know he's a Muslim? Can you imagine? A Muslim wants to run our country!
D/D #1:
I knew it! I thought that I heard that somewhere! I knew he was evil!
jenji:
Yes, did you know that his middle name is Hussein! His entire bid is in fact a Jihadist plot to methodically crush Americans! The fact that he's black is secondary; he's Muslim!
D/D #2:
Yah, like he totally wears a turban, I saw it on tv at the gym. There was like, a picture of him totally wearing a towel on his head in like, that country he grew up in...
jenji:
I know, I mean he's not American, he won't even wear a flag pin and I'm sure that there's probably no chance that an opportunistic, manipulative media has conjured up an image of an American hating, Muslim supporting, white-man loathing extremist in an effort to placate the incestuous Bush administration, the fundamental right and in fact appease the cooperate owned media entities, when in fact he is just a young, ambitious Black American running for President; a man with a wife, two kids, a mortgage and quite possibly, the overwhelming urge to burp after a spicy meal--I mean, you don't think he's at all like us, do you?
D/D:
(blink blink)
(static)
jenji:
But you're right, I'm sure Osama Bin Laden himself is silk-screening these t-shirts as we speak. Now RUN! RUN AWAY!
sigh.
jenji
You two crack me up!
ReplyDelete