Carded, part II

[Read yesterday's post first, if you haven't already.]

When I got home I asked the wife what she'd think if someone tapped her on the shoulder and dropped a the business card with the flirtatious message on it. When I explained who appeared to have done it to me, she immediately declared, "It's the ring."

Apparently, the woman on the train who gave me the card was not oblivious to the wedding band on my third finger; she was attracted by it. Or at least that was the conclusion my wife drew from my brief recounting of the incident.

She cited what she clearly believed to be common knowledge: that married men get hit on. The fact that a man is already taken (so to speak) suggests that one should try to take him, at least in the mind of some women.

How did I get this far in life without knowing this? Why did this never come up during the time I was preparing to get married?

I understand the psychology of being drawn to what one cannot have, of wanting what someone else has, but even rudimentary contemplation of the situation brings only one possible conclusion: trying to seduce married men—especially because they're married—is a bad idea. If what makes him good is that he committed to someone, and you cause him to break that commitment, then by definition he is no longer good.

I know I should be flattered, but the illogic of the scenario befuddles me so that I cannot take that reaction away from the incident.

That others hearing the tale might take away from the story that I am the freak who doesn't get a kick out of strange women flirting in this manner, that such brazen actions are essentially commonplace rather than being the freakish aspect to the tale, is something I suppose I simply must accept. (Heck, the tacit theme to most of what's on this site is Look what I freak I am, so that's not any big deal, in and of itself.)

Still, that women apparently can be so blasé about this notion of other women being compelled to put the moves on married men, that it is essentially to be expected when one puts the ring on, suggests something so… screwed up… that I am incapable to find some clever, tongue in cheek joke to make about it.

So, ladies, please tell me that this married man magnetism turning women into thoughtless homewreckers is an aberration, not the standard. Lie if you must. I want to go back to being oblivious.

My neuroses prefer it there.