Uniform disorder

When a few years ago I discovered the Uni Watch website I was somewhat surprised—albeit pleasantly—that there were a great number of people out there who were similarly affected with this minor disorder I have: noticing what sports teams are wearing.

Well, everyone who watches sports notices that the teams are wearing uniforms; that's how we know who is on which team.  But not everyone pays that much attention to the specific aesthetics, or analyzes the changes to the uniforms, or ruminates on whether those changes are improvements over how they were before.  Only a particular type of fan goes that far, and this is a site for us.

Sometimes when introducing a highlight on SportsCenter (or other sports shows) they will mention when a team is wearing a special uniform, whether it's a brightly colored alternate jersey or a "throwback" version of a vintage design or a tribute to a particular event, but it's merely a brief allusion (and, I suspect, mostly to help the viewer understand why the teams don't look like they usually do, not so much to spotlight the differences).  This site takes it to another level, focusing not on how the teams played but how they looked playing.

You may wonder why anyone would do that, but let's stop for a moment and reflect on the fact that before every entertainment awards show there's hours of "red carpet" coverage where the "fashionistas" dissect what the celebrities show up wearing, and that's on television.  This is merely one little website.  But if it helps to draw an analogy, let's say it's a tiny bit like Project Runway for heterosexual males. 

(Stereotypes invoked, yes, but tell me I'm wrong.)

The thing is this: Given the massive amount of money sports teams make from merchandising, these uniforms are a huge business; it's all good and well that fashion designers get their work spotlighted at the aforementioned awards shows, but it's not like that translates much to the average person; not only are the gowns prohibitively expensive for many women but there's few opportunities for them to be worn period. However, you're going to see a lot of people walking around sporting a cap or jersey in emulation of what they saw an athlete wearing on a field or court.

And where would hip-hop be without baseball caps? It's de rigueur. It's fashion.

~

More than you need to know—well, not that all of this doesn't fall into that category, but hey, you've read this far:

As to why others who visit the site are afflicted I cannot say but for me it started early. As a child I invented my own football league, with teams of my own creation, and designed uniforms for all of them. (For a couple years I even came up with a schedule for the teams, and each one was assigned to a corresponding NFL team. The winners were determined by whose NFL analog scored more points. Yes, I had way too much time on my hands back then.)

("Back then"?)

So, yes, I'd been paying attention to these details since I was a lad, and even progressing into adulthood had not extinguished the inclination. I hadn't designed any uniforms since those formative years; the impulse to create had waned but the tendency to notice what others had created remained. That manifested itself merely in looking closely at highlights or photos from games at the beginning of the season to see if there were any identifiable modifications since the previous year's uniforms.

To be honest, I don't visit the site daily or anything, and much of the time I only skim the story for something that catches my attention. I'm not as gung-ho about it as those who post the stories or those who comment on them. I have left very few comments; I tend to drop by in the evening, long after the dust has settled about whatever topic was discussed during the day, and generally whatever opinion I may have about it someone else has probably already stated.

It is one of only a number of areas in which I have some interest. Let's leave it at that.

But it wasn't until I discovered the Uni Watch site that I realized I was not alone.

 ~

Anyway, the reason this comes to mind now: Recently the site organized a survey, open to its readership, where they sought to get rankings of the home uniforms for each NFL team. In the survey one could give each team a score of 0 to 5 (with 5 being the best). At the end the results were tallied so they could see which team got the highest average, the second highest, and so through the lowest. In theory this would determine which teams were considered to have the best and the worst uniforms.

To give you some idea about the readership (or, at least, what I think the makers of the survey expected of the readers), the survey featured just a list of the team names with buttons for 0 through 5 next to them; nowhere on the survey itself were there photos or diagrams or descriptions of what the respective uniforms looked like. Yes, there were links to see the uniforms back at the original post that announced the survey, but I suspect  the idea was that anyone who'd choose to participate would simply know.

And yes, I knew them all off the top of my head.

I didn't spend a lot of time on the survey. I knew I could sit there and really dwell on each one, but I didn't have that level of inclination. Whatever score came to mind I selected and moved on to the next team. And I noticed that a lot of team I gave 3's; their uniforms were fine but not spectacular. There was one team whose uniforms had bothered me ever since they started wearing the current design a few years ago, and that was the only 0 I gave: the Buffalo Bills.

And if you really want to know why they bothered me so, feel free to ask. In short, they're way too busy, with too many similar shades of blue. They seem like the owner (or whoever chose) couldn't decide on a reasonable color scheme.

When the results of the survey were announced recently—well, when finally I got around to visiting the site and discover they'd been announced—I wasn't so much concerned with which team's uniforms were "the best"; I didn't have a strong opinion about that (and besides I believe that tends to be too heavily influenced by which team someone considers his favorite, which makes that less than objective). I skimmed over the listed top ten but dwelt longer on the teams listed as the bottom five.

Now, having read the site and sometimes the comments on and off for a while now I had a reasonable idea about which teams were going to be on that inglorious list. Still, when I saw which team was noted as having been rated the absolute lowest, I felt a twinge of satisfaction. The survey-taking portion of the readers of this site gave ranked the Bills as the worst.

It's a pathetic validation, I know, but a tiny validation it was.

Now, I should admit that of the other four teams on this bad list I actually ranked them relatively high, so on the rest of them I was out of step with the consensus, but on the one about which I felt the strongest (albeit negatively) I was not alone. And is that not what the internet is supposed to be. A window to a world where one is not a freak by one's self, but part of a group of freaks?

~

The survey of readers on the Uni Watch site regarding the NFL team uniforms showed that, at least amongst those who follow what the teams wear closely, they tend to be traditionalists. The top two vote-getters—the Bears and the Packers—adorn themselves in uniforms that have remained virtually unchanged for decades.  The rest of the top ten are all teams that have stuck with their look for a long time (or in the case of the Jets, Giants and Chargers, who have gone back to uniforms that are reminiscent of old uniforms) The teams that fared the worst—the Vikings, Seahawks, Jaguars, Bengals, and aforementioned Bills—all have changed and incorporated some level of attempted innovation (albeit rather poorly in some cases).

People like what they grew up with, and people like whatever their favorite team wears, but what gets the highest marks are what pays homage to the game's history.

That the respondents rated so poorly uniforms that incorporated what one could consider innovative elements (with the notable exception of the Bills, whose uniforms really are a mess), such as the Vikings' vertical stripe running from the shoulder down to the pants and forming a horn not unlike the one on their helmets, suggests that those who filled out the survey (who have strong opinions about the uniforms) tend to be conservative in their ideas about uniforms. That's hardly surprising, given that sports tend to appeal to the conservative side of people; what is most appealing about sports, on some level, is that history is regarded with such admiration, and by its nature admiring history puts a premium on conserving the traditions established in that history.

The great irony the results showing a preference for sticking with how things were is that if the teams never changed their uniforms the site would have nothing to report except when a new team was added. There'd be only so long that the fans could debate a given team's uniforms before there was nothing further to say; whether the unis were great or awful would be established (whether a consensus or not) and that would be it. Only because teams' management (for whatever reason—but most likely merchandising potential—have decided from time to time to change the designs the Uni Watch fans have had a wealth of material to discuss.

And it allows for the instances where the teams where the vintage "throwback" uniforms to fill with enjoyment those who preferred those looks (even though, frankly, often those throwbacks look dated and archaic, in my humble opinion—but clearly I am in the minority here, so that's to be expected).

And let's face it: Does anyone wish the Broncos had kept those brown uniforms they apparently started out wearing?