Talkin' Metric

Over the weekend I found myself ruminating on the metric system—for reasons not worth explaining—and the fact that the U.S. never adopted it. Almost certainly there's numerous reasons applicable to the explanation thereof, but it's not that Americans are too lazy or too stupid to learn it—heck, if drug dealers can get the hang of it, how difficult can it be? No, those obvious scapegoats aren't what's wrong with the metric system for Americans.

It's language.

When using units of measurement, we like terms with few syllables; the pattern of prefixes applied to the base units (meters, liters, etc.) in the metric system certainly makes sense and allows for grasping the increments throughout the entire system, but it makes the words too long. "Centimeter" is a mouthful when compared to "inch"; "kilometer" doesn't roll off the tongue accustomed to "mile."

Our words have even taken on these terms. Would anyone ever have named an inchworm a "2.54 centimeter worm"? I think not. My foot is close to being a foot long. How can the metric system compete with that?

And just think about Subway restaurant's latest marketing slogan: Would anyone sing a catchy jingle for "five dollar 3.048-decimeter-longs"? Get real.

Americans will adopt the metric system when someone makes pithier terminology for it. Sure, that will destroy the beautiful logic of it, but we won't care. Clearly logic is not what is of paramount importance to us.