They called this promotion

Leading up to the recent Academy Awards telecast, ABC littered the L.A. area with billboards featuring quotes from movies.

I guess some people would be inclined to watch the show by seeing "I'm the king of the world!" in three-foot tall letters. People who didn't have to sit through Titanic. Twice. Moving on.

Anyway, here's another quote they spotlighted:

And why would I be mentioning this now, after it has passed? Look closely at the text on the poster. (Feel free to click on the picture to enlarge it.)

"I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog, too."

You're probably thinking: And?

Fair enough.

However, life in Doug-world is not so simple. Because I remember that terms in direct address should be separated by commas, I look at that and think: "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too."

(There's a reason I don't get invited to more parties. I know this.)

Beyond blind adherence to grammatical convention, it seems like anyone who has seen the movie and listened carefully would discern there's a pause between "you" and "my"--admittedly, not as long as between "pretty" and "and," but a slight pause just the same. How does one denote a pause with punctuation?

Well, if you don't know, then you probably don't care how Hollywood is destroying our children's ability to properly use punctuation.

(There's a reason I don't get invited to the Oscar after-parties. I know this.)