Thursday, September 22, 2005

Solving the energy crisis

We all know that oil is going to cease to be an available fuel source some day. Changing our dependency on fossil fuels is a complicated issue, with many people with higher IQs than me working on the problem. However, I believe I may have found a viable alternative, which I humbly offer for the consideration of the powers that be.

KFC corn on the cob.

(Yes, the side dish from the Colonel's chicken franchise.)

Allow me to admit up front that I don't know how the restaurants prepare the corn, or even whether or not it's actually edible. To be honest, I have not been able to eat the corn on the cob ordered with a KFC meal in quite some time. What I do know is a meal that includes the corn on the cob, wrapped in a single layer of aluminum foil, should come with an oven mit. However, that it is very hot initially is, in an of itself, not that impressive. What makes it the potential solution to our impending catastrophe is the fact that, wrapped only in a single layer of (unimpressive) aluminum foil, it retains that tremendous heat for hours. Hours.

Stick with me here.

If we simply determine how to harness the power of the heat, say, to turn turbines to generate electricity, to heat our homes, to run our vehicles. Perhaps we simply need to get science to develop an ear of corn the size of Cincinnati and use its heat to power the country. Or not. I'm just brainstorming here; the exact details I leave to those thinking heads to work out. I'm an idea man.

No need to thank me. Just doing my part to save the world. As long as those corporate bastards at KFC's parent company will play ball. Otherwise, you can blame them when society collapses. At which point, that secret blend of eleven herbs and spices won't do them much good.

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