Reason #949 why having a blog is awesome

Checking the site metering I have set to monitor the visitors to this corner of the Web I can see not only when some browser connects and from what part of the world but sometimes even how they were referred here. That can include the specific search terms that were entered for which a post of mine came up in the results. And no matter how much I think I know about the 'net-using world this information enlarges my insight into that in ways that I could not have imagined.

A few days ago someone in one of those rectangular states in the middle of our fine nation typed the following into Google: "hot vibrator songs". And apparently that led them to this post of mine (presumably because one of the songs I included in my list of the 225 I theoretically couldn't live without was the Vibrators cover of Motorhead's "Vibrator"--but that did not even crack the top 50). I say "apparently" because I couldn't find it when I explored the specific results pool (after clicking through 19 pages' worth--I won't include a link here because, well, you can probably guess what shows up in that sort of search), but maybe if I dug deeper I would have come across it.

Now, if you think that I was shocked that someone in the Midwest would be looking for vibrator songs you would be wrong.

What's amazing is that the person thought he/she needed to include "hot" in with those other two terms. Would anyone want a cold vibrator song? Is that even conceivable?

I contend it is not.

Also, clearly people who would search for such things have a lot of time on their hands if they can go through enough results to find my humble (and undoubtedly disappointing from their perspective) page. But that isn't any sort of revelation.

Thanks for dropping by, regardless of what brought you here.

Elevated

One evening last week I entered the lobby of the building, checked the mail, and turned to see taped to the elevator door a piece of paper with the following message:

ELEVATOR IS ACTING UP. MANAGEMENT HAS BEEN NOTIFIED.

(Yes, in all capitals like that.)

Now, I wasn't bothered, as I prefer the stairs anyway, and I grasped what information the sign intended to convey (that the elevator was out of service), but I was intrigued by the choice of phrase. One of my first thoughts, without even trying, was, Well, isn't that what you want from an elevator—for it to act "up"?

Of all the ways to put that sentiment, the writer chose one where it featured the word that is synonymous with what a properly functioning elevator would do.

That the wording was an expression suggesting that a mechanical device exhibiting the behavior of an insolent child proved an interesting element to the situation, and to me indicated it was written by a parent. I can't imagine a childless person selecting that phraseology.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only resident of the building who analyzed the sign this way. I would speculate that most everyone else simply experienced dismay that they'd have to take the stairs.

This is my world.

Trumping 'America: A Story of Us'

Recently I finally finished watching the America: The Story of Us series that I'd recorded from the History Channel. As noted in this post a few weeks back in the episode about the Civil War there was an allusion to Twitter (as an analogy for the telegraph) that struck me as a particularly noteworthy lowlight. At the time I suggested I might continue just to see if in the latter episodes they might top (so to speak) that.

So? Did they?

There were some moments in their summaries of the last 145 years, but the nearest contender for that specious honor came with about 10 minutes left in the concluding episode. Not surprisingly, it involved more of the nigh-insufferable interview footage with Mr. "You're Fired" himself, Donald Trump.

The topic was the resiliency of Americans in the wake of the 9/11 attacks. First Rudy Giuliani talked about how the terrorists didn't kill our spirit, then Soledad O'Brien talked about how people became polite to one another presumably having been reminded of the fragility of life, Vera Wang talked about how America came back to New York and helped by spending money. So the bar was already not that high.

Then "The Donald" appeared on screen and uttered the following: "We were able to do something so quickly, so expeditiously, in terms of getting back to order after the travesty of the World Trade Center when it came tumbling down. To have done that so quickly is amazing."

I rewound and listened to it again and again, just to be sure I heard him correctly, to verify he didn't say "tragedy." I suspect that even though that's probably what he meant the word "travesty" is what came out of his mouth.

Travesty, as in to make a mockery of something.

I can't claim to know the ultimate motives of the terrorists who orchestrated the plane hijacks, but in the intervening years when I've pondered that topic never had it occurred to be they were operating on some kind of cruelly satirical level.

Anniversary reflection

My wife and I wished each other a happy anniversary last Sunday, as it was a year ago that day we were married. It was a day we enjoyed and happily commemorated. However, I must say that it's slightly odd to be wished a happy anniversary by others. It's appreciated, certainly, and I'm sure these others have nothing but admirable intentions behind their congratulations, but it seems to suggest that staying married is so amazing as an accomplishment that it must be lauded annually.

Obviously, a 50% divorce rate does suggest that staying married is a significant achievement, but I can't help but think that suggests more about how it's perhaps too easy to get married, that our romanticized vision of love overlooks the necessary pragmatism. Clearly a majority of that 50% who get divorced probably never should have married in the first place. Insufficient reverence for the institution of marriage was exhibited when those couples tied the knot (with a loose knot). And one must guess that in some of those cases someone knew it probably wasn't going to work out, that 'til-death-do-us-part was really 'til-we-come-to-our-senses, but that person had to stand by idly, letting the couple go through with the doomed union.

And while that is what one must do—bite one's tongue and let the disaster play out—it does seem like that's why people make such a big deal of applauding those who did nothing more than comply with what they said they would do in their wedding vows.

It's kind of sad that we're so surprised when people merely do what they said they would, who follow through on their promises.

Love is magnificent, love is the paramount good, and two people finding each and loving each other and being right for each other—i.e., what it called "true love"—is (to paraphrase The Princess Bride) not something that happens every day. That is worthy of celebration, by all means. But when it comes to people merely following the pledges they make to each other in marriage, perhaps we should be setting the bar a bit higher.

But genuine thanks to everyone who wished us well in honor of the completion of our first year as husband and wife. I wish you all well and offer you congratulations for the accomplishment of simply being alive.

This post is not available in 3-D

Over the weekend we went to Toy Story 3 in glorious 2-D. We enjoyed it very much, and I fully admit that I got a little misty-eyed at a couple scenes in the film.

However, I'm here to comment on the previews that preceded the showing.

Given that Toy Story 3 is a G-rated, animated feature it's not surprising that many of the trailers that ran before it were for animated movies that are coming out in the future. Fair enough; the point of the previews is to allow the studios to market directly to those who, by virtue of being in the theater, may be interested in similar upcoming fare.

And judging by the trailers for upcoming animated features it appears what the studios believe we want is movies in 3-D. And more movies in 3-D. And movies in 3-D.

After the first preview (for Despicable Me, which actually looks pretty good) where it was noted it would be available in 3-D it wasn't a big deal, but then as trailer after trailer finished with that same declaration (Alpha and Omega, Megamind, Tangled...) my attitude shifted to something akin to:

Hey Hollywood, you can just start mentioning when the movie is not going to be available in 3-D; I'll simply assume they are unless otherwise specified. You've made your point.