Random Ruling

The Onion's AV Club had a series where they'd interview musicians or authors or minor celebrities by having the person play the first few songs that come up on his/her iPod played by random selection of the device. The person would see what song came up and then have an opportunity to briefly explain why the track is included or to offer some association he/she has with the song or apologize. The idea is that this offers insight into the interviewee's personality by identifying some songs he/she got at some point.

Yeah, that's about right. Everything one needs to know about a person can be gleaned from a glimpse into his/her music collection.

It boils down to this: These hectic times don't allow us time to figure out whether we like people by getting an overall picture of their individual personalities. We're too busy watching videos of guys humping ottomans on YouTube to invest time in such foolish pursuits. We need a quick method of peering into the nature of people we don't actually know and gauge their worth by virtue of whether their tastes match ours. If their three songs are ones we like, they are worthy; if any of their three songs are ones we hate, they are idiots; if we don't recognize any of their three songs (or haven't even heard of the artists), they are elitist bastards.

Any previous opinion we may have had of these people are immediately replaced with this judgment, only to be replaced if we see another Random Rules-type interview in the future where those three songs are sufficiently better or worse to revise our opinion.

I do not have an iPod, therefore I will not be interviewed, and therefore the public shall have no opinion of me one way or the other. Which is just as well.