just in case... it's been nice...

just in case... it's been nice...

[email composed 19 January 2004]

Greetings everyone,
Please remain calm while reading this.

It is approximately 1:40 pm (PST) as I type this message. I am home because the office is closed for the observation of the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

While flipping around the channels on cable television, I discovered that the Showtime network was airing two Pauly Shore movies on two separate channels simultaneously (Son-In-Law on Showtime and Bio-Dome on Showtime 2).

Although I am not an adherent to any particular religion, I am reasonably certain that a scheduling coincidence such as this is undoubtedly a harbinger of some impending apocalyptic event--I find myself questioning how to justify the continued existence of a species that could unleash that upon the universe, and I can only imagine that whatever power there is out there would feel the same.

Rather than wait for that, I just wanted to take this opportunity to issue a proper farewell to everyone in my address book. I've had a good life, and regarding our species as a whole... well, who would have thought we would have lasted as long as we have and thrived as well as we have, especially considering those sabre-toothed tigers and whatnot in our very, very early days?

Anyway, thanks for being my friend.

And on the off-chance that the world doesn't end... uh, well... howdy. Hope your having a swell day. I need to go cancel my cable now...

~ Doug

p.s. If you could offer some response that you are alive and surviving as best you can in this Pauly Shore-riddled world, that may help to make me feel better about things.