[email rant composed 20 August 2001]
Hello URODIR,
This evening I went down to my car--which, of course, sits idly in a parking lot across the street from my apartment all day while I'm at work (since I take the train)--only to discover that someone had ripped the antenna off my car. Not broken it off: ripped the entire long thin cylinder out. Here's the thing: some production company was filming outside my building all day (filming what I don't know); anybody who's ever seen it going on knows where there's filming, there's a lot of cops standing around.
I think there's only one logical reaction to this violation of my vehicle: All hope for humanity is lost, and the sooner we get the Chinese pissed off enough to launch their nuclear arsenal at us, the sooner the scourge known as mankind will be wiped from the face of the earth (maybe we should support the new "Star Wars" defense system). Or maybe science will simply unleash some airborne virus that will eliminate us (while, with any luck, leaving the rest of the animal kingdom untouched). I'm not that concerned with the specifics: our species has to go.
I realize there's some decent people out there who'll be dragged down with the scum, but, well, as long as there's some of us still around, there's someone left to senselessly do very minor damage to the cars of strangers, and I care too much about my fellow man to allow another to experience the seconds of anguish that I did when I found nothing where my antenna used to be.
I don't believe in throwing out the baby with the bathwater; I say we obliterate the bathtub altogether, before the baby even gets wet.
So then I got in my car and could still pick up all the stations I have as presets. And there were idiots sitting in the fast lane barely going the speed limit. Just as I was starting to reconsider the end of mankind, this renewed my enthusiasm for the project. Imagine how wonderful the freeways will be with nobody on them.
But yes, I had a good weekend. Thanks for asking.
doug
Humanitarian of the Millennium
p.s. "Unfortunate Recipients Of Doug's Inane Rambling" (like you hadn't already figured that out on your own)
[Note 26 March 2004: Still have not replaced the antenna.]
Monday, August 20, 2001
Tuesday, August 14, 2001
Be good to yourself
[email composed 14 August 2001 for no particular reason]
If you're not having a particularly good day, pick it up by following the sage advice of the godfather of soul, James Brown:
Make it funky! (Hyeoow!)
And if you are having a pretty good day, make it better by getting down with your bad self. (Do proper stretches first if necessary to avoid injuring yourself.)
And for you intellectuals:
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are rearranging their prejudices."
- William James
If you're not having a particularly good day, pick it up by following the sage advice of the godfather of soul, James Brown:
Make it funky! (Hyeoow!)
And if you are having a pretty good day, make it better by getting down with your bad self. (Do proper stretches first if necessary to avoid injuring yourself.)
And for you intellectuals:
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are rearranging their prejudices."
- William James
Friday, June 22, 2001
Welcome to summer
[email composed 22 June 2001]
Whether you realized it or not, today (or by the time most of you read this, yesterday) was the longest amount of daylight the northern hemisphere would see all year, a.k.a. the Summer Solstice. If you didn't take advantage of it, don't worry: tomorrow will have only slightly less daylight--you probably won't notice.
And if you enjoy the night, remember that this means that the sun will be setting a teeny bit earlier every day from now until December.
Tomorrow (or today as most of you read this) I am off to Vancouver, British Columbia, to compete with my dragon boating team, the Killer Guppies, in a large tournament. This is our first "international" competition, and it should be interesting to see how the team responds to the environment. If we win a medal, great, and if we don't, well, I'll just enjoy being away from the office for a few days. (Dragon boating is a paddling sport, just for the record. Amazingly, I've been doing this for over a year now. Eh, it forces me to exercise regularly, if nothing else. And the people on the team are pretty cool, too.)
I'll let you know how well we did (and how good a time we had at the party after the races) when I return next week. If I can remember.
Whether you realized it or not, today (or by the time most of you read this, yesterday) was the longest amount of daylight the northern hemisphere would see all year, a.k.a. the Summer Solstice. If you didn't take advantage of it, don't worry: tomorrow will have only slightly less daylight--you probably won't notice.
And if you enjoy the night, remember that this means that the sun will be setting a teeny bit earlier every day from now until December.
Tomorrow (or today as most of you read this) I am off to Vancouver, British Columbia, to compete with my dragon boating team, the Killer Guppies, in a large tournament. This is our first "international" competition, and it should be interesting to see how the team responds to the environment. If we win a medal, great, and if we don't, well, I'll just enjoy being away from the office for a few days. (Dragon boating is a paddling sport, just for the record. Amazingly, I've been doing this for over a year now. Eh, it forces me to exercise regularly, if nothing else. And the people on the team are pretty cool, too.)
I'll let you know how well we did (and how good a time we had at the party after the races) when I return next week. If I can remember.
Wednesday, May 30, 2001
cable tv roulette
[email composed 30 May 2001]
Just now I was flipping through the movie channels and discovered three different Guy Pearce roles playing simultaneously: on Showtime, as a military prosecutor in "Rules of Engagement," on Cinemax as a reluctant cannibal in "Ravenous," and on The Movie Channel, (in the only role where he gets to use his native accent) as a drag queen traveling through the Australian outback in "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert."
Coincidence? Perhaps.
If only HBO was showing "L.A. Confidential" he could have hit for the cycle...
Just now I was flipping through the movie channels and discovered three different Guy Pearce roles playing simultaneously: on Showtime, as a military prosecutor in "Rules of Engagement," on Cinemax as a reluctant cannibal in "Ravenous," and on The Movie Channel, (in the only role where he gets to use his native accent) as a drag queen traveling through the Australian outback in "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert."
Coincidence? Perhaps.
If only HBO was showing "L.A. Confidential" he could have hit for the cycle...
Thursday, May 10, 2001
You say it's your birthday (da-da-da-da-da-da-da-duh)
[email composed 10 May 2001]
Today is the 30th birthday of my brother-in-law, Justin. He spent the day home recovering from a stomach flu. I'm told that last night he had a temperature of 103 degrees.
Some people will do anything to get out of having to work on their birthday, eh?
For those of you who have yet to reach this milestone, you probably approach this day with dread. For the rest of us who see it in the rear view mirror of the present, we know that it was the last moment of joy we experienced. Or it was just another day.
What can I say about Justin? He's smart, he has perspective on living, he's easy to talk to, he's can cook, he has a fine sense of humor, he has decent taste in music, and he looks okay in a skirt... er, kilt.
He's a good man. Sure, that expression has lost some of its luster by overuse, but it still holds truth when applied to him.
What does it mean to call someone "good"? Is it merely some default declaration to be applied if someone isn't bad? Of course not, although the not-being-bad angle certainly helps. The popular parlance would interpret it to mean he has a good heart. I'm not sure how well his ticker is pumping the blood, but since long ago someone seated the human emotions in that organ, we continue to use that expression to indicate someone cares.
About what one cares is another story. What it really indicates--having a "good heart"--is that the person cares about the same things that we do... and that really translates as he cares about us. (No one who dislikes us can be said to have a good heart. At least not by us.) So such declarations really say as much about the person saying it as the person about whom it is said.
Hey, there are worse things than having your sister's husband like you.
Justin loves my sister very much. It's almost disgusting how much he obviously adores her (still). (Granted, he didn't have to grow up with her...) He is a very lucky man--not just because he snagged my sister, but because he found love: not that desperate love some people settle for, but (for lack of a better term) true love. This is probably due (at least in large part) to the whole good heart thing.
In the end, it boils down this: he is someone worthy of me composing a message in his honor. There is no higher compliment I can possibly give.
However, I'm sure he'd trade these accolades for spending his birthday feeling healthy. Or to get his youth back.
Doug
who proudly considers Justin one of his people (a selective group, rest assured)
p.s. If there are any birthday wishes, mocking comments, random thoughts, inappropriate suggestions, etc., you'd like to pass along to Justin, reply to this and I'll forward them--unedited--to him. I'm sure he would appreciate them (remember: I said he had a good sense of humor). (I would give out his e-mail for you to reply directly to him, but I want him to continue to like me.)
[Six people replied with birthday wishes for Justin, only two of which actually knew him.]
Today is the 30th birthday of my brother-in-law, Justin. He spent the day home recovering from a stomach flu. I'm told that last night he had a temperature of 103 degrees.
Some people will do anything to get out of having to work on their birthday, eh?
For those of you who have yet to reach this milestone, you probably approach this day with dread. For the rest of us who see it in the rear view mirror of the present, we know that it was the last moment of joy we experienced. Or it was just another day.
What can I say about Justin? He's smart, he has perspective on living, he's easy to talk to, he's can cook, he has a fine sense of humor, he has decent taste in music, and he looks okay in a skirt... er, kilt.
He's a good man. Sure, that expression has lost some of its luster by overuse, but it still holds truth when applied to him.
What does it mean to call someone "good"? Is it merely some default declaration to be applied if someone isn't bad? Of course not, although the not-being-bad angle certainly helps. The popular parlance would interpret it to mean he has a good heart. I'm not sure how well his ticker is pumping the blood, but since long ago someone seated the human emotions in that organ, we continue to use that expression to indicate someone cares.
About what one cares is another story. What it really indicates--having a "good heart"--is that the person cares about the same things that we do... and that really translates as he cares about us. (No one who dislikes us can be said to have a good heart. At least not by us.) So such declarations really say as much about the person saying it as the person about whom it is said.
Hey, there are worse things than having your sister's husband like you.
Justin loves my sister very much. It's almost disgusting how much he obviously adores her (still). (Granted, he didn't have to grow up with her...) He is a very lucky man--not just because he snagged my sister, but because he found love: not that desperate love some people settle for, but (for lack of a better term) true love. This is probably due (at least in large part) to the whole good heart thing.
In the end, it boils down this: he is someone worthy of me composing a message in his honor. There is no higher compliment I can possibly give.
However, I'm sure he'd trade these accolades for spending his birthday feeling healthy. Or to get his youth back.
Doug
who proudly considers Justin one of his people (a selective group, rest assured)
p.s. If there are any birthday wishes, mocking comments, random thoughts, inappropriate suggestions, etc., you'd like to pass along to Justin, reply to this and I'll forward them--unedited--to him. I'm sure he would appreciate them (remember: I said he had a good sense of humor). (I would give out his e-mail for you to reply directly to him, but I want him to continue to like me.)
[Six people replied with birthday wishes for Justin, only two of which actually knew him.]
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